Standing Outside The Fire

Things were pretty bleak for a while, there, Blogosphere. The complete and utter destruction of my computer in an incident we will call, non-ironically, Watergate. The complete and utter destruction of my soul by Public Financial Management. The guy from Cali Swag was murdered, never to impart the knowledge of how to Dougie again. We’ll just have to go back to paying for milkshake lessons.

But life, Blogosphere, is not tried if it is merely survived.

So now, better, stronger, Macbook Airier*, I have no choice but to listen to the signs the Universe is sending:

1. Google sent me a $100 gift card to spend on advertising, that I would keep blogging. This is a real thing. More on this later.

2. Metablog’s Biggest Fan Trent came to visit under the auspices of “work”, but really to figure out why Fake Trent (Mike) had failed to keep me on the blogwagon.

3. With her Farewell Spectacular looming, someone must fill the void left by Oprah (that is, the sliver of the void still unfilled by her cable network).

4. While there hasn’t been much to report about life on The Compound except that we got two cats and our water pressure has been inconsistent, at best – much in the larger world has gone unreported. So many names have been Not-Names, so many things Hot Mary has worn have been Not-Shirts, and Wes has learned about so many foods that are Not-Whataburger. (“What is this, a giant onion?” “No, Wes. It’s a melon.”)

5. People have gotten entirely too comfortable saying dipshit things around me (see above), thinking it won’t be broadcast to the world.

6. Dan called me irrelevant. And now he will pay.

So lawyer up, Blogosphere, and roll that montage sequence of me learning to Blog again.

*we’ll give Kelly Sharp a six year time out to recover from this latest injustice. Although given that she is probably reading this post on her iPhone4, we will reduce that to six minutes to get over it.