Author's Purpose

Let me clear a few things up here. Similar to the scene in Dark Knight in which Christian Bale laments the copycat Batmans ("This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to inspire people"), I feel as though you all might have taken my Blog-a-log a wee bit incorrectly. ("I'm not wearing hockey pads!")

My blog is employing a literary device known as satire, in which I use humor to draw attention to a problem or make a larger statement. So, if this were an 11th grade literature quiz - do you think that statement is

A) start blogging

B) stop blogging

Based on the fact that Tumblr's server was incapacitated this morning, I fear too many of you answered A.

So let me offer a few examples of what I mean.

1) Judith: I have in no way obligated you to create ThatsNotANAme@blogspot.com, despite the fact that as you pointed out last night there are so many families employing objects, verbs, and unknown as names for their children. It is an endemic problem, but it need not be a blog.

2) Siiri: If you were teetering on the fence about whether to start, or stop blogging - the answer should have been B, stop blogging.

3) Wes(z): After listening to my explanation of the literary device "satire" last night, I did not intend for you to start a meta-literary-oppositional blog to my blog (Don'tReadCaitlin'sBlog@blogspot.com) that employs primarily onomatopoeia.

4) Mark: Going and doing attention-seeking things like busting your (other) knee, as well as posting hilarious things I say is NOT the way to earn Daily Blog of the Day. Although if any of this has been worth it, it was to hear Ellen shout "no one reads our blog" at you last night on video chat as you attempted to compete with my hits counter.

5) On that note - Ladies of LBJ, who account for 98% of my astronomical hits: It's a joke, girls. You can stop checking back to see if DateFarmerDan.com has gone live.

6) Lastly to Mike Franco, who got awfully salty over getting ripped on my blog about blogs when he doesn't even like blogging and apparently was sick the day they taught Satire at Stanford: I'm sorry. As an apology, I hereby move for a new nickname: IM. It can stand for either your intramural prowess, or Mike Franco, Idea Man. As long as you're willing to compete with a seventeen year old Mitchell London, Innovator.

Like a regulatory commission - the more you blog, the more I'll be forced to blog.

("What would you have me do, Alfred? Endure, Master Wayne. Endure.")