Baby it's cold inside....

My mom should never delegate Craigslist postings to me, particularly not when I'm under the constant influence of paint fumes, six beers, and #replacementbestie Jordan "Corny Dad Jokes" Hills.

Jordan: "It's called marketing, Bobbi. I took a business class."

http://austin.craigslist.org/app/2506900351.html

Let's just say this was the most reasonable draft, circa midnight last night.

ALLISON GOT MARRIED

Several weeks ago we gathered friends and family in Birmingham so that Mark Zuckerberg could pronounce Allison Lenore Bramlett and Gary Mitchell London Jr. married on Facebook.

And as is the circle of life, with new beginnings come endings, and thus we are here to honor the death of Metablog's favorite blog, allisongettingmarried.tumblr.com. Unbeknownst to the happy couple, we live twatted the whole wedding weekend. I have been waiting to share the transcript until they returned from their six month long honeymoon, mostly so that Mitchell had the option to call me and tell me to immediately remove the post about Joe telling Keith's girlfriend that he absolutely could afford her.

It also took me the entirety of their honeymoon to learn how to take a screen shot (see! above!), but also I learned how to freeze panes in Excel so basically that makes it the most productive 3 weeks I've had since Institute.

Therefore, without further ado, in memoriam to my favorite blog, the farewell post: AllisonGotMarried.metablog.com.

Friday at 5:30pm, Joe asks Keith's girlfriend if she has ever danced naked.

Friday at 5:31pm, Joe asks Keith's girlfriend what her rate is.

Friday at 5:32pm, Joe responds "I really doubt that" when Keith's girlfriend tells Joe he couldn't afford her.

Friday at 9:40 pm

JLo: I mean @sarahswanson you're awesome, but...we'll see.

Friday at midnight

PeteLongworth: @everyone get in the impromptu photobooth

Everyone: @Keith and @Synthia have been practicing this in their living room...

Denver: @Pete So do you always shoot on Nokia?

Saturday:

Denver: @mattyb I've had 1 5hr enrgy b4 this wk, had 7 in last 48 hrs

MattyB: @Denver there is such a thing as too much

Denver: I'm somehow nervous and afraid of falling asleep while standing beside this altar. Taking comfort in the 4 tiny whiskey bottles lining my tux coat.

Emily: @NewLondon yerbeautifulyerbeautifulyerbeautifulyerbeautiful!

Everyone: ditto.

7:45 at Park Lane

the_real_morety: @Nowitzness Joe just told this 50 year old woman he wanted to see her naked..it's only 7:45

MoMoPalmer: @Emily @Nat @ Megz Let's have a diva dance off and also I win

Emily: Balloon grab, RELEASE!

Emily: @EmilysThighs plz don't give out on me during this dance move
EmilysThighs: @Emily no way dude yer going down
Emily: @EmilysThighs why do you have yer own twitter acct?

9:48 PM Saturday Night at Park Lane

Nowitzness: @matttyB I've had 5 drinks and don't feel a thing. I just can't get drunk the 2nd night of a back-to-back!

MatttyB: @Nowitzness Me too!!! Let's go get 3 more!

JLo: @C# we have 25 minutes to buy beer for the after party

C#: K lets go

JLo: Nope I'm too drunk, you go

11:00 at the Liquor Store

C#: @evesfriendCami load up another 8 twelve packs into the cart

NiceLady: Hi, @evesfriendcami

Eve'sfriendCami: @C# that was one of my students parents

C#:@evesfriendcami don't worry, what is SHE doing at the liquor store?

11:30 at Jackson's Saturday Night

Bartenderobnoxious: @Nowitzness you want 6 drinks? I need to see an ID for each one

(after complying with his request and returning 5 minutes later for 6 more drinks)

Bartenderobnoxious: @Nowitzness did you just go outside and give those drinks to people?

Nowitzness: @bartenderobnoxious yes and I brought 6 new ID's for this round!

LOVE IS. IS WHAT I GOT. LOVE IS. IS WHAT I GOT.

Acapellagroup: Wait whats the next verse?

Everyone: ......

Acapellagroup: ok. LOVE IS. IS WHAT I GOT.

Matttyb: @C# I think that D and K are getting together!!

C#: @Matttyb Honey if that hurts your feelings, you probably deserve it.

Matttyb: Oh, ok.

12:15 at the aLoft Saturday Night

Emily: @LLeahy everyone's going to room 408
LLheahy: @Emily no fucking way

Nowitzness: Where did that 6 foot tall asian woman come from?

Everyone_at_aLoft: James, that's a hooker... don't ask questions

Denver: T bringing a hooker to a wedding is either testing my unqualified support for bold moves, or affirming it. At the moment I'm too drunk to tell.

Sunday...

Denver:@ellensmommeg Yeah it was crazy they brought like 300 beers into the lobby of the hotel

ellensmommeg: @Denver You drank 300 beers...?

Denver: @ellensmommeg No. But I tried.

3:19 AM Monday Morning

MatttyB: @Nowitzness after the show it's the after party and after the wedding it's the sunday night party, we've been drinking belveder, we've been drinking cristal... I just went swimming... why did you leave?